I've been reading "Teach the Children: An Agency Approach to Education" by Neil Flinders lately. I say lately because it's not a book you can just pick up and read and actually finish in a short amount of time. It's rather academic, and I already know I'm going to have to re-read it, take lots of notes and write about it to really assimilate it.
In the book, Neil Flinders says that agency education (one where the student takes ownership for their own education) is character education. Making kids memorize history dates and learn to spell words doesn't matter? Well, in a sense, yes! What is more important is teaching character. Why? Because if children have a good strong character and they know that they have a life mission to perform, they will not only take ownership for their education, but they will GET the education they need to best serve others.
Most parents ask themselves these questions about their children, especially teenagers: What if they get behind? What if they don't learn everything they are supposed to? What if they don't get into the college I'd like them to? What if they don't get a job? What if they can't or won't support their families? What if they goof off in their college years? What if...?
How can we allow your teenagers to have control over their education? If we have brought our children with good characters and correct motivations, we can allow our children to get a good education on their own without worrying about them. They WILL be responsible. They WILL serve others. They WILL be educated. They WILL earn money. All this, because they have good character. They know who they are and that they have a mission to perform.
Instead, maybe we should be asking ourselves different questions. What if they don't realize their potential? What if they never open a book again after graduating? What if they are only motivated to do schoolwork for good grades, to get into college, to get a good job, or to please their parents? What if they rebel because of the things we MAKE them do? What if they end up living mediocre lives? What if they never find out what their mission is? What if they just don't care about seeking truth?
Knowing information IS important. However, information is learned when it becomes important to the student. Spelling was never important to my son until he had something to say and wanted to be taken seriously. History dates don't usually matter unless you are taking a test, but learning about the great heroes in history and applying the lessons of history to yourself does.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The Study of Doctrine Will Improve Behavior Quicker
In Oct. 1986, Boyd K. Packer said "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior."
I have struggled to really believe this quote in the past, when I would read relationship books with practical ideas and find those appear easier to implement than studying the gospel. For example, it seemed easier to work off a list of ways to show love to others than it is to simply "love one another."
While relationship books really can help, the belief that you can build a good relationship simply by crossing off to-do's on a list is more like treating a symptom than curing the cause.
The beginning of Boyd K. Packer's quote is often not quoted with the rest, but it's the most important part. It is "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior." If we REALLY understood true doctrine, then our hearts would be changed and we would be doing those things on the list for the right reasons.
Of course doing things for the wrong reasons isn't always wrong. It is never wrong to be kind or to do what is right. And the more we do them, the more we become them. It's just that we must truly understand that we are children of Heavenly Father, and as such, we have great worth. When we truly understand that, we have faith. Faith is an action word; when we have faith that we are children of Heavenly Father, we will act as he would want us to.
That's why it's so important to center our lives around faith-building activities. That's how our children will grow up to have faith and make the changes they know they need to.
Relationship books can really help with implementation ideas. But unless our hearts are changed and we have faith, it will be just going through the motions.
I have struggled to really believe this quote in the past, when I would read relationship books with practical ideas and find those appear easier to implement than studying the gospel. For example, it seemed easier to work off a list of ways to show love to others than it is to simply "love one another."
While relationship books really can help, the belief that you can build a good relationship simply by crossing off to-do's on a list is more like treating a symptom than curing the cause.
The beginning of Boyd K. Packer's quote is often not quoted with the rest, but it's the most important part. It is "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior." If we REALLY understood true doctrine, then our hearts would be changed and we would be doing those things on the list for the right reasons.
Of course doing things for the wrong reasons isn't always wrong. It is never wrong to be kind or to do what is right. And the more we do them, the more we become them. It's just that we must truly understand that we are children of Heavenly Father, and as such, we have great worth. When we truly understand that, we have faith. Faith is an action word; when we have faith that we are children of Heavenly Father, we will act as he would want us to.
That's why it's so important to center our lives around faith-building activities. That's how our children will grow up to have faith and make the changes they know they need to.
Relationship books can really help with implementation ideas. But unless our hearts are changed and we have faith, it will be just going through the motions.
Monday, February 27, 2012
An Epiphany about "Inspire not Require"
One of the seven great keys of teaching from TJED says "Inspire, not Require." It is by far the most controversial as well as probably the most important. Most people, when they first hear this, think that it means to "unschool" your children. They look at the "not require" part and think that you shouldn't teach your children anything - just let them do whatever the like! Inspiring would be great, but they are not really sure how. Perhaps an external motivation like stickers is what this means - and then they try it but feel like that is really not that inspiring.
As they begin to read the classics ("Classics, not Textbooks" is another key), they find that there is a much bigger picture here. All of these classics are teaching the same story! The story of ordinary people who overcome difficulties and failures but are driven to accomplish the task they knew they were supposed to do (albeit didn't necessarily want to do.) That is a great way to inspire when you encourage your children to apply it to themselves! They are meant to be heroes in this life, and God has a mission for them. When they understand that, they will be motivated to want to do what it takes to improve themselves to be able to accomplish that mission.
It took me years to come to that understanding. But today I had an epiphany about this. Last night I had been studying in my scriptures about how faith is a principle of action. Faith more than just belief; it is more like a hope or belief in something that is strong enough that it causes action. The light bulb went on! I've been pondering much on agency, stewardship, inspiring and motivating others that I realized how this all connected with faith.
You CAN require things of children so that they learn. But it is so much better when they can choose to learn things themselves. Then they learn and improve (or not!) for the right reasons; not to please their parents, get good grades or to impress peers. Rather, the right reason is because they have faith and take action according to their faith.
The best way to inspire someone to do the great and hard things that they should be doing, would be helping them to build faith in Christ. Faith in Christ leads to action - action in becoming the people He wants us to be. But we must allow for agency, or else their motivation to improve may not be based in faith. In "Agency Education", Neil Flinders says agency education is character education.
In TJED, there are 4 phases of learning. When children are young (about ages 0-8) - it is the "core" phase in which children are taught character through faith and obedience. The next stage (about 8-12) is the love of learning phase, where children learn to love to learn through faith, obedience and agency. And then the third childhood phase is (about ages 13+) is the scholar phase, where children who have had great younger phases are prepared to use their agency to begin the process of *choosing* to study hard to improve themselves because of their faith. Not because of their parents, peers or grades.
Another part of this epiphany was that because it really comes down to building faith, that is really why many different parents following many different methods can be successful using the TJED principles. And it became more clear to me that this is HOW to inspire: continually build faith in Christ from the time they are small.
The 8th key to great teaching was added later. It is "Trust the Process." I have understood this to mean that you should trust yourself and your promptings. I never liked that phrase either, though, because I also felt it meant to trust TJED and all of its seemingly detailed instructions. But I connected that too with faith. To me, an even better way of understanding this is to have faith. Faith in Heavenly Father's plan, and that the actions you make because of faith are the right ones in teaching your children. Faith in your children, because they are children of God. And having faith in them show them that.
It all comes down to FAITH.
This was a great epiphany to me, although maybe this is really obvious to everyone else. ;)
As they begin to read the classics ("Classics, not Textbooks" is another key), they find that there is a much bigger picture here. All of these classics are teaching the same story! The story of ordinary people who overcome difficulties and failures but are driven to accomplish the task they knew they were supposed to do (albeit didn't necessarily want to do.) That is a great way to inspire when you encourage your children to apply it to themselves! They are meant to be heroes in this life, and God has a mission for them. When they understand that, they will be motivated to want to do what it takes to improve themselves to be able to accomplish that mission.
It took me years to come to that understanding. But today I had an epiphany about this. Last night I had been studying in my scriptures about how faith is a principle of action. Faith more than just belief; it is more like a hope or belief in something that is strong enough that it causes action. The light bulb went on! I've been pondering much on agency, stewardship, inspiring and motivating others that I realized how this all connected with faith.
You CAN require things of children so that they learn. But it is so much better when they can choose to learn things themselves. Then they learn and improve (or not!) for the right reasons; not to please their parents, get good grades or to impress peers. Rather, the right reason is because they have faith and take action according to their faith.
The best way to inspire someone to do the great and hard things that they should be doing, would be helping them to build faith in Christ. Faith in Christ leads to action - action in becoming the people He wants us to be. But we must allow for agency, or else their motivation to improve may not be based in faith. In "Agency Education", Neil Flinders says agency education is character education.
In TJED, there are 4 phases of learning. When children are young (about ages 0-8) - it is the "core" phase in which children are taught character through faith and obedience. The next stage (about 8-12) is the love of learning phase, where children learn to love to learn through faith, obedience and agency. And then the third childhood phase is (about ages 13+) is the scholar phase, where children who have had great younger phases are prepared to use their agency to begin the process of *choosing* to study hard to improve themselves because of their faith. Not because of their parents, peers or grades.
Another part of this epiphany was that because it really comes down to building faith, that is really why many different parents following many different methods can be successful using the TJED principles. And it became more clear to me that this is HOW to inspire: continually build faith in Christ from the time they are small.The 8th key to great teaching was added later. It is "Trust the Process." I have understood this to mean that you should trust yourself and your promptings. I never liked that phrase either, though, because I also felt it meant to trust TJED and all of its seemingly detailed instructions. But I connected that too with faith. To me, an even better way of understanding this is to have faith. Faith in Heavenly Father's plan, and that the actions you make because of faith are the right ones in teaching your children. Faith in your children, because they are children of God. And having faith in them show them that.
It all comes down to FAITH.
This was a great epiphany to me, although maybe this is really obvious to everyone else. ;)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Potty Training Motivation
I think we finally got it figured out! Yes, I've potty trained 6 other kids, but they are all different, for sure.
I first tried potty training Snickerdoodle about 6 months ago. I conveniently placed training potties around the house (visual cues). I promised an m&m for simply sitting on the potty (reward), and a sticker on his chart for each time he went (reward). I even promised a sword when the sticker chart was full (another reward.) (I didn't promise these ALL at first, I kept adding them...)
Then I ran out of diapers. He had to wear underwear (to encourage personal motivation.) We went cold turkey. The way this turned out: He didn't care in the least when he tinkled on the floor and got wet legs and screamed every time we went near the potty. I was calm, cleaned up the mess, asked him if he would just sit on the potty for the reward but he wasn't having it. After five days, I decided this was not going to work.
The next time I tried potty training Snickerdoodle was about 3 weeks ago. Same deal, but I thought to add positive peer pressure of having big brother Oatmeal show him how to shoot cheerios in the potty. I quit after a day and a half. Until he had his own personal motivation, it wasn't gonna happen.
I told him that I wasn't going to let him potty train anymore. He was fine with that.
A few days ago, I took him on a shopping trip to Costco. I noticed a display of seriously awesome Lego star wars and Spiderman underwear. I strategically walked near and looked at a pack of underwear. Snickerdoodle says, "Hey! Is that for me?" I said, "No, it's for Oatmeal's birthday." Of course he decides he really wants some. And they didn't really have it a big enough size for Oatmeal - plus I'm pretty sure 11 year olds wear don't go for that kind of thing anymore anyhow. :) So I "reluctantly" decide to buy him some, telling him that if I get them he'll have to be potty trained or else we'll have to bring them back to Costco for some other boy to have.
He nags me for a day to be potty trained. I make him wait. The next day, I let him wear a pair of his new undies, but tell him that he doesn't want his awesome new undies to be wet so he'll have to use the potty. A hour later, he misses. I give him a bath and have him sit on the potty just in case there's any more. And he actually goes! Ok, it was about three drops, but a success! He gets a high five and a words of acclamation. He totally remembers all those rewards I promised him. And he gets his m&m and a sticker.
A few hours later, I tell him that he probably doesn't want to get his awesome undies wet so maybe he should go sit on the potty. He wants to do it himself and I can't come. He yells for me - and guess what? He did it! More praise, m&m & sticker.
A few hours later, I hear him yelling for me. He'd gone all by himself and didn't even bother to tell me.
Today he did great. At one point, he told me he just wanted to wear his diapers again. I knew what that meant, so I said "Nope, you'd better just go on the potty." And he did.
Yup, the personal motivation thing is the way to go. He's not totally set with potty training, but this is HIS idea now and he will be really soon.
I first tried potty training Snickerdoodle about 6 months ago. I conveniently placed training potties around the house (visual cues). I promised an m&m for simply sitting on the potty (reward), and a sticker on his chart for each time he went (reward). I even promised a sword when the sticker chart was full (another reward.) (I didn't promise these ALL at first, I kept adding them...)
Then I ran out of diapers. He had to wear underwear (to encourage personal motivation.) We went cold turkey. The way this turned out: He didn't care in the least when he tinkled on the floor and got wet legs and screamed every time we went near the potty. I was calm, cleaned up the mess, asked him if he would just sit on the potty for the reward but he wasn't having it. After five days, I decided this was not going to work.
The next time I tried potty training Snickerdoodle was about 3 weeks ago. Same deal, but I thought to add positive peer pressure of having big brother Oatmeal show him how to shoot cheerios in the potty. I quit after a day and a half. Until he had his own personal motivation, it wasn't gonna happen.
I told him that I wasn't going to let him potty train anymore. He was fine with that.
A few days ago, I took him on a shopping trip to Costco. I noticed a display of seriously awesome Lego star wars and Spiderman underwear. I strategically walked near and looked at a pack of underwear. Snickerdoodle says, "Hey! Is that for me?" I said, "No, it's for Oatmeal's birthday." Of course he decides he really wants some. And they didn't really have it a big enough size for Oatmeal - plus I'm pretty sure 11 year olds wear don't go for that kind of thing anymore anyhow. :) So I "reluctantly" decide to buy him some, telling him that if I get them he'll have to be potty trained or else we'll have to bring them back to Costco for some other boy to have.
He nags me for a day to be potty trained. I make him wait. The next day, I let him wear a pair of his new undies, but tell him that he doesn't want his awesome new undies to be wet so he'll have to use the potty. A hour later, he misses. I give him a bath and have him sit on the potty just in case there's any more. And he actually goes! Ok, it was about three drops, but a success! He gets a high five and a words of acclamation. He totally remembers all those rewards I promised him. And he gets his m&m and a sticker.
A few hours later, I tell him that he probably doesn't want to get his awesome undies wet so maybe he should go sit on the potty. He wants to do it himself and I can't come. He yells for me - and guess what? He did it! More praise, m&m & sticker.
A few hours later, I hear him yelling for me. He'd gone all by himself and didn't even bother to tell me.
Today he did great. At one point, he told me he just wanted to wear his diapers again. I knew what that meant, so I said "Nope, you'd better just go on the potty." And he did.
Yup, the personal motivation thing is the way to go. He's not totally set with potty training, but this is HIS idea now and he will be really soon.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Exercise
You probably wouldn't guess it by just looking at me, but I really hate exercising. Or at least I did till I figured out a few things.
(1) Running doesn't have to make you feel like you're about to die. You can take a break and start walking when that feeling comes on.
(2) Running by yourself is nice because then no one judges you at how slooooow you go.
(3) When running, you can listen to whatever you want to, it doesn't have to be kid's stories or songs.
(4) 15 minutes a day is plenty.
(5) As long as Mom feeds the baby before she runs, they are both happy.
(6) Running is nice because you don't have to watch the same perky lady leading your exercise video.
I have quite enjoyed being able to listen to talks or seminars in the morning. And this morning I ran with my 6 year old daughter. She's just about my speed. Well, maybe she's a little faster.
(1) Running doesn't have to make you feel like you're about to die. You can take a break and start walking when that feeling comes on.
(2) Running by yourself is nice because then no one judges you at how slooooow you go.
(3) When running, you can listen to whatever you want to, it doesn't have to be kid's stories or songs.
(4) 15 minutes a day is plenty.
(5) As long as Mom feeds the baby before she runs, they are both happy.
(6) Running is nice because you don't have to watch the same perky lady leading your exercise video.
I have quite enjoyed being able to listen to talks or seminars in the morning. And this morning I ran with my 6 year old daughter. She's just about my speed. Well, maybe she's a little faster.
Monday, February 20, 2012
I have LOTS of culture!
My kitchen has been going crazy lately with the culturing. I have cultured:
Buttermilk - how easy is that! You buy real cultured buttermilk from the store (Winder Dairy brand in utah.) Then you put four tablespoons of buttermilk in a quart jar. Fill it to the top with whole milk, put a lid on and shake it. Leave it on the counter overnight. The next day you'll have thick, creamy buttermilk.
Water Kefir & Milk Kefir - I think I'm finally getting the water kefir grains to multiply. And I learned that kefir actually has something or another in it that kills off candida yeast.
Villi & Filmjolk - These are both thermophilic yogurts. That just means you can set them on the counter and they turn into yogurt. Not heat dependent! Villi is a Finnish strain of yogurt and Filmjolk is Swedish. Truthfully, I can't tell the difference.
Yogurt - I haven't been making this so much since I've been doing all the countertop culturing, but I do like the creamy texture better than villi or filmjolk. If you click the link, that's how I do it. Although I often add 2 packs of gelatin first. I let it sit for 5 minutes, then whisk it in. Then I start heating it up.
Next up, I'm going to have to start culturing condiments and veggies!
Buttermilk - how easy is that! You buy real cultured buttermilk from the store (Winder Dairy brand in utah.) Then you put four tablespoons of buttermilk in a quart jar. Fill it to the top with whole milk, put a lid on and shake it. Leave it on the counter overnight. The next day you'll have thick, creamy buttermilk.
Water Kefir & Milk Kefir - I think I'm finally getting the water kefir grains to multiply. And I learned that kefir actually has something or another in it that kills off candida yeast.
Villi & Filmjolk - These are both thermophilic yogurts. That just means you can set them on the counter and they turn into yogurt. Not heat dependent! Villi is a Finnish strain of yogurt and Filmjolk is Swedish. Truthfully, I can't tell the difference.
Yogurt - I haven't been making this so much since I've been doing all the countertop culturing, but I do like the creamy texture better than villi or filmjolk. If you click the link, that's how I do it. Although I often add 2 packs of gelatin first. I let it sit for 5 minutes, then whisk it in. Then I start heating it up.
Next up, I'm going to have to start culturing condiments and veggies!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Blessings from living the law of stewardship: Abundance
Part 12 of the series on stewardship...
Living the principle of stewardship helps us in many ways. It teaches us organization and allows us to be prepared. We learn patience when we remember that we are in this to teach our children stewardship; keeping the room clean or learning piano is secondary. It helps us to be grateful for what we have been given, and not to covet other's stewardships. It also helps us to have an abundance mentality. We don't have to be greedy or keep it all for ourselves.
Steven Covey says:
It is the abundance mentality that truly helps us live the principle of stewardship and the mentality that we gain as we live the principle of stewardship.
The better we manage our stewardship, the happier we are. And not only will we be helping to build up Zion, but we will be saving ourselves. D&C 51:19 say "And whoso is found a faithful, a just, and a wise steward shall enter into the joy of his Lord, and shall inherit eternal life."
I wanna be there. Do you?
Living the principle of stewardship helps us in many ways. It teaches us organization and allows us to be prepared. We learn patience when we remember that we are in this to teach our children stewardship; keeping the room clean or learning piano is secondary. It helps us to be grateful for what we have been given, and not to covet other's stewardships. It also helps us to have an abundance mentality. We don't have to be greedy or keep it all for ourselves.
Steven Covey says:
“Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.
The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. The also have a a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.
The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flow out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.”
It is the abundance mentality that truly helps us live the principle of stewardship and the mentality that we gain as we live the principle of stewardship.
The better we manage our stewardship, the happier we are. And not only will we be helping to build up Zion, but we will be saving ourselves. D&C 51:19 say "And whoso is found a faithful, a just, and a wise steward shall enter into the joy of his Lord, and shall inherit eternal life."
I wanna be there. Do you?
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