Internal Motivation

How do we help motivate our children to WANT to do the right things?

There are two basic modes of motivation: internal and external. When motivation comes internally, or in other words, YOU choose to do something, that is powerful motivation. In the homeschool world, there are a set of principles taught by "Thomas Jefferson Education" (aka TJED). One of these principles is "inspire, not require." Internal motivation is why TJED tells us to inspire our kids in their education rather than require them to do things.

Unfortunately, I think because TJED made all of their principles into catchy phrases, the principles are sometimes misunderstood. "Inspire, not require" doesn’t really mean to NEVER require. There are different times and stages in which we must require. God has things he requires of us, but he allows us the agency as to whether or not we will obey. However, it is best when we can inspire our children to WANT to do things.

To internally motivate our children, we must give your children a good reason why they should do something and then allow them the agency to choose to do it. When you feel like something is your idea, you are much more interested in doing it!

You can give them daily reasons to do things, such as “You can’t play until your chores are finished,” but the best way to help children choose to fulfill their stewardships is to continually be talking about the big picture of life. Tell them why these things are helpful in Heavenly Father’s plan. Tell them they have a personal mission that God wants them to fulfill, and the more prepared they are now, the better they’ll be in being able to accomplish their missions. Continually remind them that they are children of God. They cannot ultimately fail if they are doing the Lord’s work. Teach them that they are heroes when they keep going in adversity. Teach them about the hero’s journey, and point it out in real life and in literature and compare it to them.

I have not yet figured out how to help my three year old decide for himself that potty training is actually a really good idea. He hasn’t fit in how it might affect his mission in life yet.

Sometimes we must require things of children, such as church attendance. But they still have the choice as to whether or not they’ll have a good attitude. Or chores - they have the choice to fulfill their chore or reap the consequences. When it comes to education, the more inspire, the better.

Luckily all is not lost if you have required when maybe you shouldn't have. People can still change their minds and decide they want to do things for themselves.